10.20.2010

stopped

This morning I stopped. For three minutes I actually stopped. Stopped the running, the stress, the frustration. I stopped the madness that has become my life, for three minutes I stopped. She had asked me to read it to her before. I've always said "We can do it later." 


I had just unbuckled her seat belt. Holding up the book and waving it back and forth, she asked "Mommy can we read this?"
She was getting out of the truck. We were at daycare. I was already running late. She wanted me to read her a book now? She wanted me to read her a book.

So I stopped. I sat on the tailgate and put her on my lap.

I stopped and I read the book to her.
I put aside the frenzy that would be today.
The craziness could/would wait.
The meetings the phone calls.
The mountain of paperwork.
I let the boys fuss while she and I had a moment.
I let the cars go by, the kids stare and the minutes pass....hell, they were only minutes.

After the last page I closed the book and paused. In that moment I strained to remember the last time I had done that.

Paused.
Taken a moment.
Let things sink in.
I tried to soak in her energy, her optimism, her "being". Of course she didn't quite get the moment. Perplexed she turned her head to look at me and said "Mommy, what are you doing? Are you crazy?"

Her honesty shocked me....as it usually does. She's not one to mince words. Clearly she can see right through me.

So today (because I can't guarantee that it will happen tomorrow) I will try to stop. Even if only for a second.

3 comments:

dani jane said...

Are you crazy? I love it! So intuitive these little creatures are.....We feel so complicated and yet, to them, at times, we are so transparent! A gem...a true gem. Both of you...all of us!

Andrea C Lagourgue said...

It's so true. And I am amazed at the fact that through our years we loose that intuition. Maybe there is a magic pill to get it back :)

Joann Mannix said...

So absolutely gorgeous. We all need to stop more and breathe in those moments. What a beautiful thing to keep in your heart forever.